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this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING!



The Fault In Our Sombreros.

Nacho average love story.

it’s spelled olé not olay you illiterate fuck this ain’t the fault in our lotions


just imagine what would happen if the internet suddenly stopped working all over the world

Um no


all i ever wanted in life was a baelationship


Sometimes, the best way to not get your heart broken is to act like you don’t have one. 


i dont even have guilty pleasures anymore i just like stuff and if people have a problem with that they can go fuck themselves

Me:  *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
Random Old Lady:  *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
ROL:  Isn't he a little old for you?
Me:  Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
Dad:  *chokes into his drink*
ROL:  You should respect your elders.
Me:  You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
Dad:  *chokes on his drink again*
ROL:  *storms off*
Dad:  *looks at me with a disapproving look*
Me:  What?
Dad:  Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.